2007 Championships

6-3, The Poobic Heirs vs Chunky Monkeys
While I wouldn't go so far as the say that our Finals were anti-climatic, it's no stretch to say that the odds were against a big upset. We already covered the numerous injuries to both teams and the bad luck that befell every conference finalist. Our playoffs turned into a battle of the best man standing.

The Monkeys stumbled into the Finals, the Heirs were the dark horse from mid-season on. It came down to who had the biggest star. Who could take their team on his back and win a championship? In the end, the Heirs took it all -- with Kobe leading the way. Ricky Davis and Yao Ming played a big part in the victory but to be honest, this game was over before it began.

The Monkey's best player? Um, Danny Granger? Nate Robinson? Mardy Collins (who is this guy)? Rajon Rondo or Mo Williams? Yeah, Ricky D by himself is probably better than any of these guys. Distraught over his embarassing loss, GM Evan lashed out at his staff and fired his trainer, his assistant secretary, and Cintas, his uniform people. Asked about his plans for next year, Evan responded with "Basketball? What's that? I'm out to defend my fantasy football title. Peyton, LT, LJ, TO, AJohnson; keeper team, what!?"

In the adjoining locker room, Oliver's Poobic Heirs were celebrating, pouring champagne, using Nair, and generally getting rowdy. When the team owner was asked about his thoughts on an epic season, what did he say? Well, there was no response. Oliver was passed out from his Zima-lite and decided to take a little nappy. Instead, Vanessa Bryant stepped to the podium and announced that she would be leaving Kobe and the Heirs for greener pastures. And that she wanted the championship ring as a severance package too. Size five for Vanessa please.

Yao Ming, when asked about his plans for the future, now that he was rid of Tracy McGrady and one up on NBA championships over Wang Zhi-Zhi and Mengke Bateer, responded with: "Wo ai ni. Wo hen ugh." The Big Talker he isn't yet.

So, after many months and an entertaining, and educational season, our champion? From the Eastern Conference, hailing from the wilds of Michigan, Oliver and his Poobic Heirs!

SlamNation Finals 2007

Chunky Monkeys vs Poobic Heirs
It's not a joyous day for the Monkeys. Despite reaching the Finals and having a chance to capture a football and basketball championship in the same year, they'll need a miracle -- a literal miracle -- to win. Check out their bench: Gilbert Arenas, Joe Johnson, Josh Smith, Tyson Chandler, and Charlie Villanueva. That's the top three players for the Monkeys riding the pine -- to to mention their REB and BLK anchor.

What's left? Um, the Knicks and Celtics backcourt (Nate Robinson/Mardy Collins and Rajon Rondo/Allan Ray respectively) along with Manu Ginobili, Jason Terry, and Mo Williams. The front line? Mehmet Okur, Andris Biedrins, and Danny Granger. Remember when the Knicks blitzed to the Finals without Patrick Ewing that year? Well, this is the 2007 Monkeys. They're at the big show but so hobbled that they might as well just get drunk every night and forget the actual games.

The Poobic Heirs aren't supremely healthy themselves, but they can withstand the loss of Caron Butler and Andrew Bogut just fine. They still have Kobe and Yao (dinged up), and the rest of their team isn't exactly trash time scrubs. Kirk Hinrich, Ricky Davis, Kevin Martin, and Monta Ellis are an All-Legends team compared to what Evan is fielding. Samuel Dalembert, Rasheed Wallace, and Antonio McDyess are good enough to cancel anything Okur, Biedrins, and Granger can throw up. Plus, this team fields the ultimate glue guy, Shane Battier, as tenth man. Are the Heirs destined for a championship? Sure looks like it to this prognosticator. If not, this would be the greatest upset since Douglas-Tyson.

But hey, that's why they play the game right? Even if it's definitely a low-wattage event.

Note: Championship Week ends Sunday night even though the schedule is set up until after that.

Conference Finals: Recap

WESTERN CONFERENCE
5-4, Chunky Monkeys vs Fat Jubas
Talk about the battle of the invalids. Fat Jubas were already hurting without Dwayne Wade and Jermaine O'Neal, but then Tracy McGrady, Kwame Brown, Al Jefferson, Josh Howard, and Zaza Pachulia decided to all take a hit to the proverbial groin too. Cakewalk for their opponents, the Monkeys right? Well, not quite. The Monkeys were already without the services of Joe Johnson and Charlie Villanueva. They lost Gilbert Arenas and Tyson Chandler during the week, and Mo Williams for a bit too. Ouch.

So really, it was like a 5-on-5 game this week and both West "contenders" suffered from major injuries. In the end, the Monkeys squeaked this one out (by 5 STL and 4 BLK) but really, they're less prepared for the Finals since their depth is hardly anything to envy. Josh Smith will now have to carry the team -- and he's capable, with 20 PTS, 10 REB, 2 BLK avg last week -- but he may be suspended. Woo-ha! Can Jason Terry, Manu Ginobili, Mehmet Okur, and Danny Granger carry this team to a championship? Ugh....

EASTERN CONFERENCE
5-4, Poobic Heirs vs Squirtle Squad
Things were a little better injury wise in the East. Barely. The only injury casualty was Yao Ming for the Heirs and Jamaal Tinsley and Delonte West for the Squirtles. Then again, given the injury ravaged state of the Squad (already minus Ray Allen, Nenad Krstic, David Lee, Andres Nocioni), they put up a good enough fight -- led by Walter Herrman of all people in PTS (71 in four games) -- but ended up just one category short.

The Heirs actually could have won in a landslide since they only lost REB by 1 and 3PT by 2. For the Heirs, it's the Kobe Bryant show, as he single-handedly pumped in 37 PTS, 5 AST, and 1.5 STL/BLK. Can Kobe lead this team toward a championship? It sure looks possible against the injury ravaged Monkeys.

TOILET BOWL
5-4, Sour Snails vs MoRRie's Pogiboys
For the two worst teams in the league go the two best draft positions. The Snails really picked it up and took their last few games of the season, putting up an astounding final week stat line of 154 AST, 56 STL, and 62 3PT. In fact, both the Snails and Pogiboys stayed relatively healthy (playing 36 and 32 games respectively for the week) and would have had a great showing in the real playoffs. What if...

In the end, it was Allen Iverson (23 PTS and 6 AST avg), Steve Nash (53.3 FG%, 12 AST per), Ron Artest (2.5 STL avg), and Jason Richardson (17 3PT) finally coming through for the Snails, all in one week. In a week where Florida's 04's won the championship, Trieu's top four picks win the choice of selecting Kevin Durant or Greg Oden. Not bad for a team given up for dead eh?

Toilet Bowl Consolidation
7-2, Phanatics vs Pooh Bears
In a shellacking, the Phanatics win the #3 pick in the draft, meaning that the Pooh Bears, holders of the best record among all Toilet Bowl contestants, ends up with the worst lottery pick. Weird hunh?

2006 Awards

Time to hand out the hardware for our initial foray into fantasy basketball. There were a lot of ups-and-downs, there were some disputes on what kind of scoring system to use, there was a lengthy (but very exciting) email draft. There were a ton of injuries, there were some teams that suffered so bad I wanted to rent them Lebron James. In the end however, it was a very exciting season and I hope our next season will be even better. Heading into our championship weeks, let's take a look at who deserves MVP and GM of the year honors.

Most Valuable Player
What makes a MVP? Is it someone who has the best stats? Yes. Is it someone who makes everyone around him better? Um, no, this isn't real basketballl, this is still fantasy. What we looked for were players who were the best on their teams, and also stayed healthy long enough to contribute to a winning season - which eliminated about two-thirds of our candidates.

Tim Duncan and Lebron James tanked FT% for their teams. Out. Chris Bosh was a contender, but he missed about a dozen games. Kobe Bryant was right up there, but he only took the Poobic Heirs to an 11-9-1 record.

With those worthy candidates accounted for, our MVP for 2006 was an easy choice: Da Kid, Kevin Garnett!

Drafted seventh (behind LBJ, Dirk, Dwayne, Marion, Kobe, Arenas), Kevin Garnett used to be a lock as the first pick in any fantasy draft. Brian took advantage of Garnett's freefall and swooped up his 22.8 PTS, 12.9 REB, 4.2 AST, 1.2 STL, and 1.7 BLK on 47.9 FG% and 83.9 FT%. Plus KG hasn't missed a game this season and he continues to be an eight-category stud. Pacing Brian's East leading Squirtle Squad to a 14-7 record, KG was solid all year and will take home our inaugural MVP trophy.

Runners Up:
Dirk Nowitzki had an excellent year, averaging 24.9 PTS, 9.2 REB, 3.4 AST, and shooting a stellar 50.1 FG% and 90.3 FT% (plus super low TOs). Sounds comparable to Garnett, if not better, except that Dirk's STL-BLK-3PT numbers fell off this year. It used to be Dirk could be counted on for one STL/BLK/3PT a game, but this year, he only managed to swipe 0.7 STL and block 0.8 BLK per game. His 3PT fell to just under one per game also. Close for the big German, but the fact that the Amoebas only squeaked intot the playoffs discounted Nowitzki from serious consideration.

Our other runner-up started the season on fire, or should I say, on hibachi. He cooled off a bit right before the All-Star break but he still put up stellar averages of 28.8 PTS, 4.6 REB, 6.1 AST, 1.9 STL and an astonishing 2.8 3PT per game. Gilbert Arenas led the in-flux Chunky Monkeys to a 12-5-4 record, good enough to be tied for second best record in the league. He didn't miss a game all season and he shoots 84.7% from the stripe. But, and the big but here, is that Arenas can win you games, but when he's cold, he can also shoot you out of games with his less than stellar 41.8 FG%. That's the only thing preventing him from being higher in our MVP consideration.

GM of the Year
It's no surprise who our GM of the Year is; Fat Jubas' Eric-L has assembled a powerhouse of a team (best record this year at 16-4-1) by drafting wisely, being quick to grab free agents, and even making a trade to firm up his depleted backcourt when the playoffs hit. They finished the season on a five game winning streak, despite losing top pick Dwayne Wade for around that length of time.

How'd he do it? First, the excellent draft yielded versatile superstars Dwayne Wade and Tracy McGrady in the first two rounds. Then oft-injured Jermaine O'Neal fell to them in Rd3, and he turned in a (relatively) healthy season with 9.8 REB and 2.7 BLK.

Then came Eric-L's steals: Andre Igoudala in Rd4, Tony Parker in Rd5, and Josh Howard in Rd7. Then came Eric-L's super steals. Leandro Barbosa in Rd9 and Al Jefferson in Rd12.

Playing the free agent wire 29 times, the Jubas came away with Lamarcus Aldridge, right as he looks ready to be a fantasy star. A trade with the Pogiboys turned young talents Tyrus Thomas and Darko Milicic into Jason Williams, who is now helping the Jubas offset the loss of Wade in the fantasy playoffs.

Deep, talented, and rolling, Eric-L put together a stellar team powered by a strong draft and a keen eye for talent. Executive of the Year: Eric-L!

A special shout out goes to the Human Amoebas' Eric-A, who managed to go through the season not making one waiver wire addition or drop. The Phanatics' Ping and PoohBears' J were the co-runners up here, with only 2 and 4 transactions apiece. Eric-A, in response to why he made no moves, replied, "There just wasn't anything out there better than what I had already. I'm a big believer in team unity. The Amoebas, we assimilate, not defecate."

Toilet Bowl: Round 1 Recap

The Toilet Bowl may be for the losers but the games are certainly anything but crap. Two games that came down to the wire and both the favored teams ended up losing. Check it out:

5-4, MoRRie's Pogiboys vs Pooh Bears
In a game that made Alvin and his fans stutter with fear, the Pogiboys accomplished their goal: getting one of the top two picks in next year's draft. The Pooh Bears made up a minu-12 deficit in AST in a flash on Sunday and the race was on to win that crucial game tilting category.

With the Pogiboys already suffering from missed games from Chucky Atkins and Darko Milicic, they needed every one of Rudy Gay and Hakim Warrick's extra games this week (5 games for the Grizzlies). Chris Paul had a pretty sorry week (12.7 PTS, 6 AST) but he still managed to contribute 3 STL a game.

As for J's Pooh Bears, Pau Gasol (17.4 PTS, 9.6 REB, 4.4 AST) and Ben Gordon (23.5 PTS, 2 3PT) pulled their weight, as did Shawn Marion (7 BLK) and Andre Miller (8 AST per) but Mike Bibby couldn't come through, especially on Sunday night, as he totaled just 6 AST on the week. In the end, it was a stunning finish as the recently acquired Steve Blake powered the Pogiboys to victory (AST 126-122) with his 7 AST Sunday night. Steve Blake, hero?!

6-3, Sour Snails vs Phanatics
Perhaps due to its low profile, everyone ignored what was probably the best comeback of the year as the Sour Snails rallied back on Sunday to overtake the Phanatics and propel themselves into a top-2 pick.

How'd they do it? Well, we're not quite sure because the national attention was on other games this week. But in a battle of "Are we the worst GMs?," it looks like Trieu had the last laugh as his Golden Warriors -- Stephen Jackson (20.7 PTS, 3.3 3PT) and Jason Richardson (exact same PTS, 3PT) -- poured it on and secured a victory, even without the service of Ime Udoka. Who? Nevermind. Steve Nash's 10 AST per game and perfect free-throw shooting turned out to be instrumental in giving the Snails the win.

The Phanatics had this thing all sewn up but then, as the rest of the season has been for them, injuries hit. Paul Pierce sat out a few games, Lamar Odom took a seat, and point guards Luke Ridnour and Earl Watson (combined for 52 AST and 14 STL) were consigned to the bench. The Phanatics lost AST by 20 and STL by 2. Hum... Hard to fault Ping though, since everyone in his lineup deserved to be there.

We'll have to watch this one on SlamNation Classic since nobody really knows how the Snails took down the Phanatics, but they did!

Playoffs: Round 1 Recap

After Round One, only four teams are standing. However, all four of our finalists are missing integral parts of their team. The Jubas are short Dwayne Wade while their opponents, the Monkeys, are minus Joe Johnson. In the East, the Squirtles are without the services of Ray Allen (among many others) while Oliver's Poobic Heirs just lost Caron Butler for the season. Let's take a look at what transpired in the first week of the playoffs.

WESTERN CONFERENCE

5-4, Chunky Monkeys vs Buffy
The first of our absolute nail-biters this week. Buffy was in control entering Sunday but then, slowly, the victory slipped away. Losing by 2 in STL, 2 in BLK, and 3 in 3PT, this game was lost by the slimmest of margins. Then again, Buffy only won REB and AST by 2 each.

The difference? Perhaps C-Webb coming down with the flu mid-week, causing him to miss two crucial games. Perhaps James Posey or Nick Collison could have helped, but nobody is a seer, even Roger.

The Monkeys must be ecstatic to pull out of Round One with an epic win. Despite being hammered in PTS (594-703), the whole team worked together to manufacture a win. Josh Smith dumped in 14 BLK, Manu Ginobili had 7 STL, and Jason Terry and Gilbert Arenas paced Evan's squad with 12 and 9 3PT respectively. They're going to have to repeat that performance, and more, to upset the Jubas in the Western Finals.

9-0, Fat Jubas vs Funk Coalition
How embarassing. Suffering their first shut out of the season, the Funk went down in furious flames. Sure, Lebron and Redd missed a game or two, but in the end, it was the Jubas firing on all cylinders that prevented any chance of an upset. Andre Iguodala dropped in 20.7 PTS and 11.0 AST in three games, Leandro Barbosa and Josh Howard put up over 22.5 PTS per, and Tracy McGrady had his usual stellar all-around game to eliminate the Funk.

Even without Dwayne Wade -- and possibly Jermaine O'Neal -- the Jubas are our odds on favorite to take the whole enchilada. Players keep on getting hurt but Eric-L keeps plugging pieces in. Are we looking at a championship favorite here? I think so. Just one more win against fantasy nemesis Evan and Eric-L will be in the Finals and fighting for the coveted double-double -- a championship in both football and basketball.


EASTERN CONFERENCE

5-4, Squirtle Squad vs Human Amoebas
The East favorite, Squirtle Squad, didn't have quite as easy of a first round matchup as the West leader. By barely taking REB (+12) and STL (+4), the Squad escaped with a narrow victory over the Amoebas. In fact, if the Amoebas hadn't been derailed by injuries to Richard Hamilton and Zach Randolph (and a ding to Dirk Nowizki), they might have pulled off a major upset.

The Squirtles had a great week from Carlos Boozer (24.25 PTS and 11.75 REB) and Kevin Garnett (22.25 PTS, 13.5 REB, 5 AST) but it was the role players that really stepped up. Walter Herrmann with 19.3 PTS on 65 FG%. Sasha Pavlovic with 17.8 PTS and 2.25 3PT. Delonte West and Jamaal Tinsley also racked up some big numbers (16.75 PTS, 11.0 AST, and 3.5 STL combined).

There is literally no bench on this team (Ray Allen, Nenad Krstic, Andres Nocioni, David Lee, and until recently, J Garbajosa, are all injured) so what you see is what you get. Is that enough to take the East? Quite possibly...

7-2, Poobic Heirs vs Rhythm Drive
As predicted, the Heirs romped over the higher seeded Rhythm Drive. Without a functional Mike Miller, Sam Cassell, Steve Francis, Brad Miller, and Emeka Okafor, the Drive didn't really stand a chance.

The Heirs cement their didn't have one of their best weeks, but three games from Kobe (31.7 PTS, 6.7 AST, 2 STL) and a resurgent Yao (30 PTS, 12.5 REB, 2.25 BLK) was enough to eliminate the Drive. Rasheed Wallace (19.25 PTS, 3 3PT) and Kirk Hinrich (20 PTS, 8.5 AST, 2.25) had good outings too and they'll have to keep it up because the Heirs are now minus Caron Butler.

Can the Heirs beat the Squirtles without their defensive stalwart? It's hard to say. Either way, Butler wasn't in the lineup for this first round, so maybe the Heirs have gotten used to playing without him. This is still a very deep and talented team (Ricky Davis, Monta Ellis, Kevin Martin) so Oliver can still have high hopes for an appearance in the Finals.

Roster Locking, Draft Positions, Finals Format

Just for clarification purposes:

(1) If you were in the playoffs and you lost, it's over for you. Your roster will lock tomorrow. No more games, nothing. Thanks for a good season.

(2) If you lost in the Toilet Bowl, you still play another game to determine the #3 overall pick. Once you win-lose that game, your rosters lock -- which would be next Monday.

(3) For next year's draft, teams that exit the playoffs and don't make the Finals, are slotted Picks #5-#10 in reverse order of the regular season standings.

(4) If you make the Finals, the team that loses the championship game drafts #11, the team that wins drafts last, #12.

The Finals will run Mon-Sun, like a normal week, even if the nba.com site tabulates through the end of the regular season. We'll just cut it off the Sunday of championship week and not count the last 2-3 days of games.

Note: Next year's supplemental draft is NOT snake. So if you have the #2 pick, you get that pick for every round we have the supplemental draft.