Round 1 Results: East

Squirtle Squad (14-6) vs Human Amoebas (9-11)
The repeat East champion Squirtle Squad is poised to have great post-season run. While the East seemed to be full of great teams mid-season, by the end, a few squads had faded. Don't count the Squad among them. Suffering from very little injury strife, the Squad has been the model of consistency this year. Deron Williams (19 PTS, 10.5 AST, 1 STL/3PT) has emerged as a fantasy star and along with his front court mate Carlos Boozer (22 PTS, 11 REB, 1.3 STL), have been the cornerstone for this team. Boston teammates Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen have both declined statistically but are still premium players. While JR Smith, Francisco Garcia, Boris Diaw, Ryan Gomes, David Lee, and Rasho Nesterovic don't necessarily get the fans screaming, they ably fill up the box scores. The big question is if sophmore sensation Brandon Roy can get back on the court in time to help the Squad to a championship.

The Amoebas sure are mercurial aren't they? The front line duo of Amare Stoudemire (25 PTS, 9 REB, 2.2 BLK) and Dirk Nowitzki provide a solid foundation for success but this team seems a bit short in every area. Rip Hamilton, Marvin Williams, and Zach Randolph add scoring, but not quite enough to make the Amoebas a scoring powerhouse. Jason Kidd is still an AST master but there's not another player on the roster who dishes even half of what he does. Raja Bell and Boobie Gibson average over two 3PT a game, but half the roster doesn't average any. With the late season injuries to Dirk and Ben Wallace, the Amoebas' hopes were sunk and it's possible that they need a more cohesive game plan for next season.

MoRRie's Pogiboys (12-7-1) vs The Poobic Heirs (12-8)
While it's tough to call this a huge upset with the swell season the Pogiboys are having, it was a huge upset. I mean, the defending champs falling to last year's league doormat? That's huge right? The Pogiboys made short work of the Poobic Heirs, 6-3, and really just outhustled them in all the little categories (AST, STL, BLK, TO, FG%, FT%).

With the MVP season by Chris Paul (22 PTS, 11 AST, 2.7 STL) -- and yes, he should be the MVP -- the Pogiboys bounced into this season with a new outlook on life. Rookie Al Horford contributed nearly a double double and Chris Kaman and Andrew Bynum both broke out. And let's not forget about Rudy Gay, who upped his game to new heights (20 PTS, 6 REB, 1.7 3PT). While Tyrus Thomas, Jason Maxiell, Darko Milicic, Joakim Noah, and Ronny Turiaf all suffer from the erratic syndrome, Chauncey Billups and Gerald Wallace supported Paul in the best ways possible by providing additional scoring, steals, and assists. Add in under the radar contributions by Derek Fisher, Steve Blake, and Louis Williams and the question is: how far can this finely tuned squad go?

We might be thanking our collective stars and garters that the Olympics are in Beijing this summer. Otherwise, Yao Ming might have suited up and Oliver would still be in contention for a repeat. Put it this way. Devin Harris (16 PTS, 7 AST) and Monta Ellis (20-4-4) are now solidly main men in both their camps. Caron Butler and Kevin Martin are top tier options. Kobe Bryant is Kobe Bryant. Forget the fact that Rasheed and especially Kirk Hinrich slipped this season, the Heirs are scary. If they didn't have such a big hole in the front court (Brendan Haywood, Nazr Mohammed, Samuel Dalembert) late in the season, would the Heirs really have gone out so early? Here's a scary thought. Next year, this team gets a healthy Yao back, plus Greg Oden. Yowza.

Toilet Bowl
100AcrePoohBears (8-12) vs Jedi Knights (3-16-1)
The Pooh Bears almost made the playoffs but a three game swoon at the end put them out of the running. That's probably a good thing though, because the Bears might need another big draft. The proud owner of Mike Bibby, Shawn Marion, and Pau Gasol, the Bears had to deal with three in-season mega-trades. In each one, it seemed like they lost out statistically While Andre Miller (17 PTS, 7 AST, 1.3 STL) is having a quietly stellar season, everyone else on this roster has been playing worse than last year. Ben Gordon, Chris Wilcox, Andrei Kirilenko, Peja Stojakovic, Tayshaun Prince, and Josh Childress all did better last year. Rookie Jeff Green showed promise but that's on the court, not necessarily in the boxscore. Injuries have ravaged them near the end of the season (Marion, Wilcox, Gasol) but they still mustered enough to take out the Jedi Knights.

Well, it's hard to call the Jedi Knights inaugural season a success. On one hand, they stepped into the breach when the previous owner left but on the other hand, their record fell to a league low -- with nine straight losses to close out the season. THe good news is that, well, um, Dwight Howard (21 PTS, 14 REB, 2.3 BLK) is a man child? Other than that, this was definitely a backwards season for everyone else involved. Luol Deng, Mike Miller, and Chris Bosh all regressed a bit. Brad Miller, Zydrunas Ilgauskas, and Emeka Okafor were double double machines and provided some nice complements to Dwight, but the rest of the roster was hit or miss. Grant Hill stayed healthy in the Valley of the Sun but he's hardly a star anymore. The Knights have some big men assets but they have to carefully build a team that can truly take advantage of those strengths.

Round 1 Results: West

Buffy (14-6) vs Fat Jubas (11-8-1)
Buffy waxed the Jubas in their first round playoff matchup, 8-1, and with only four more games played. The only category Buffy lost? Turnovers.

This is who Buffy has on the bench: Stephon Marbury, Kenyon Martin, Rashard Lewis, Elton Brand, and Eddy Curry. At some point in the past, that would have been an All-Star team (sort of). It just goes to show how much team chemistry has meant this year for Buffy. With Baron Davis (22 PTS, 8 AST, 2 STL/3PT) and Jose Calderon (53.0 FG%, 8 AST, 1 3PT) leading the way, Buffy has been able to replace the wasted seasons of Steph and Elton. Antawn Jamison is back to his 20-10 numbers, Mike Dunleavy and Jamal Crawford turned into scoring machines, and Shaq O'Neal is contributing on the boards and on defense. Let's not forget about Tim Duncan either. This is the team to beat right now, even with so many big names manning the injury list and the bench. Imagine if they still had Chris Paul -- traded away for Elton Brand at the end of last year. Wowza!

It's been a rough year for the Fat Jubas. Talented beyond belief, they've been laid low by a combination of long term injuries to Dwayne Wade and Jermaine O'Neal. While Corey Maggette (22-6), Al Jefferson (21, 11, 1.5 BLK), and LaMarcus Aldridge (18, 8, 1.2 BLK) are all having career years, it still hasn't been enough to offset the big time injuries. With Leandro Barbosa, Josh Howard, Tony Parker, and Andre Iguodala staying about even, this team should of had the firepower for a big run into the playoffs but they were just inconsistent all year. The gradual decline of rookies Yi Jianlian and Jamario Moon didn't help matters either. Management had to be disappointed with such a weak season after last year's powerhouse showing (and a promising four game win streak to get into the playoffs).

Sour Snails (11-7-2) vs Chunky Monkeys (11-8-1)
What a difference a year makes hunh? Last year, the Sour Snails were at the bottom of the barrel. They couldn't get their first win for nearly half a season and by the end, their team was in shambles. Enter Kevin Durant, number one draft pick and franchise savior! Okay, fine, the Snails improvement probably didn't just have to do with Durant's numbers (19 PTS, 4 REB, 1 STL/BLK/3PT). Consider him a nice addition to a swingman group that really pushed the Snails into fast forward. Jason Richardson, Ron Artest, Stephen Jackson, and especially Hedo Turkoglu all turned it up a notch and allowed Steve Nash and Allen Iverson to just play their games. With this group, the Snails became a fantasy version of the GS Warriors, tossing up ridiculous amounts of 3PTs and PTS. With an owner dedicated to mining talent (tied for league lead in roster moves), the Snails really turned their franchise around and could easily upend the favorites for a Finals run. They cleaned out the Monkeys in a game that wasn't nearly as close as the 5-4 score indicated.

Even with a huge injury to start the season -- Gilbert Arenas, beloved blogger, never made it onto the court this season -- the Monkeys should have been a force to be reckoned with. After all, they made the Finals last year (with a D-League caliber squad, but still). Well, injuries aside, the Monkeys just haven't been as cohesive as they were last year. Manu Ginobili, Joe Johnson, and Josh Smith have been impressive as usual, while Rajon Rondo, Danny Granger, and Mehmet Okur all had their moments. Mo Williams was no slouch either. With other talent on hand like Tyson Chandler (the new Ben Wallace), Andris Biedrins, Charlie Villanueva, and Troy Murphy, the Monkeys had some depth. The problem for the Monkeys boiled down to not having a superstar on board. Manu and Joe Johnson were both 20-5-5 guys, and Josh Smith is a BLK beast, but nobody could push the team to greater heights and take over a game in the fourth quarter. Where are you Agent Zero?

Toilet Bowl
Phanatics (7-13) vs Funk Coalition (5-15)
The Phanatics, as always, look so damn good on paper. Paul Pierce, Vince Carter, Richard Jefferson, David West, Marcus Camby, and Lamar Odom are all All-Star caliber players. However, none are the top players for their teams. Is that a problem? Maybe. The Phanatics had a decent season considering they lost Nene for most of it and had a giant hole at the guard spots. Earl Watson and Charlie Bell were hardly fantasy worthy most nights, but who else would have fit in there? Luke Ridnour, Marcus Williams, or Mike Conley? As if. Still, Pierce, Carter, Jefferson, and West should be plenty to make a nice run into the Toilet Bowl and perhaps emerge with the top pick. Can GM Shen do something with that pick to put this team into the playoffs next year?

The Funk always rode the thin line between success and failure and after a promising first season, the wheels fell off the speed wagon and the Coalition collapsed. How many fantasy teams could have completely wasted Lebron James' 30-8-8 season? Not many. But when your team is comprised of point guards who all took a step back (except for Rafer Alston), you've got a recipe for disaster. Jameer Nelson and Raymond Felton are clearly light years behind fellow young PGs Chris Paul and Deron Williams. TJ Ford has Jose Calderon on his team. Randy Foye and Sebastian Telfair can't both play big minutes. With big scorers Michael Redd and Carmelo Anthony slowing down this season just a notch in the PTS deparment, the Funk couldn't stay on the good side of the wins column. Nobody else averaged more than 15 points aside from the big three. And that one guy was journeyman Rashad McCants. Time for Funk to retool?