Rules Add-Ons and Updates

Playoffs:
The top 4 teams from each conference enter the playoffs. Top seeds have tie-breaker advantage should the scoring for the week come up even.

The final Championship Week is (possibly) more than seven days. Traditionally, the scoring goes more than the allotted seven days to make up for the last few days of the NBA regular season.

Toilet Bowl:
The remaining four non-playoff teams participate in a toilet bowl playoffs. The winner of the Toilet Bowl gets the first overall pick, the loser of the Toilet Bowl gets the second pick, and so on.

Teams for this playoff compete first within their own conference and then move into the Toilet Bowl against the winner/loser from the opposing conference.

This Toilet Bowl playoff insures that all 12 teams compete for something until the very end of the season.

Roster Lock:
As soon as a team is eliminated from post-season contention, their roster is locked until the supplemental draft (see below).

The reason for this is so that nobody can pick up players during the summer and pre-season (and after they've been eliminated from the playoffs) before we have our supplemental draft.

Supplemental (Yearly) Draft:
The new draft will occur as close to the start of the next regular season as possible. It will be 2-3 rounds (undetermined for now).

The draft order will be as determined by the Toilet Bowl, then in reverse regular season standings BUT with the two Finals contestants receiving the last two picks.

This yearly draft is not in snake order.

Keeper:
We keep all fifteen players on our roster, up till and including, the Supplemental Draft players. We'll then have a set date by when owners have to release players to get down to 15 men, and those players cut after the supplemental draft will go through the normal waiver wire process.

There have been suggestions that we should cut before we draft, but that might compromise the youth or injury players that most teams have at the end of the bench.

So, we'll have 15 keepers, draft 2-3, then cut back down to 15 players before the start of the season.

Next Year:
We will try to get off NBA.com next year since their interface sucks. Ideally we'd use Yahoo if they can do conferences.

We'll revisit the scoring (not the way we score, but perhaps moving to averages if we can) and the weekly versus daily lineup debate.

Be assured that any new rules will maintain roster and scoring integrity and concept from the original rules.

Original Rules

Recap: Week 13

Inter-Conference Games
5-4, Chunky Monkeys vs Funk Coalition
6-3, Pooh Bears vs Human Amoeba

Conference Games
5-4, Buffy vs MoRRie's Pogiboys
7-2, Poobic Heirs vs Sour Snails
7-2, Squirtle Squad vs Phanatics
5-4, Flaming Shrapnel vs Rhythm Drive
(statistics)

5-4, Buffy vs MoRRie's Pogiboys
Oh if only the Pogiboy's could get their act together. They've been close to victories so many times but too many lost opportunities have doomed them to loss after loss. This time out, the Pogiboys just ran into a Buffy buzzsaw; or more accurately, a hot as fire Jamal Crawford (32.5 PTS, 6.25 AST, 3.75 3PT and 16 straight shots made!). Buffy still has Chris Paul and Rashard Lewis ailing but importing the newly acquired Tim Duncan, a healthy Shaquille O'Neal, and a suddenly playable Chris Webber into the lineup could quickly transform the strength of this team from the backcourt to the frontcourt. The good news for the Pogiboys is that third round pick Gerald Wallace shot 52.5% on the week, scored 21.25 PTS and contributed 8.5 REB and 1.75 STL -- still no BLKs but something is better than nothing.

7-2, Poobic Heirs vs Sour Snails
The Snails are on the hunt for win number two and shed a quarter of their roster recently in a drastic move by management to find some hope. Clearly, it's rebuilding time. Low upside veterans like Trenton Hassell, Hedo Turkoglu, Anthony Parker, et al, are not the answer. Bring in the youth and bring in some vision. The Snails need to build a team around the dynamic duo of Steve Nash and Allen Iverson but at this rate, those two talents are being overwhelmed weekly. Not much has been heard from Ron Artest of late but that's perhaps why he's excelling (22.75 PTS, 7.5 REB, 2.5 STL, 1.75 3PT and 52.1 FG%). The Snails will need to stay busy to make a push in the Toilet Bowl and for next year.

Let's talk about early season fantasy gems Monta Ellis and Kevin Martin. Both have settled into their roles and have proven that they can be depended on for big numbers. Monta is a scoring machine with good AST and STL numbers while Kevin Martin has slowed down some (if 20 PTS, 4 REB, 1.7 3PT is "slow") but is still Rip Hamilton with some range. Both are extremely solid fantasy players and it's a credit to the Heirs' scouting that both were plucked so late in the draft - Rd 10 for Martin and Rd 14 for Ellis.

7-2, Squirtle Squad vs Phanatics
The Phanatics haven't had much to look forward to this season but finally, finally, they are close to being 100% healthy. Swingmen Paul Pierce and Richard Jefferson are still down for the count but forwards Lamar Odom and David West are back; not to mention center Marcus Camby. Even more good news: post-trade, Al Harrington put up 29 PTS, 3 3PT, 1.7 STL on a ridiculous 72.7 FG% in three games last week. The Phanatics should be preparing for a Toilet Bowl run and they're headed in the right direction. Of course, it's not all roses and ice cream since they still got pounded by the league leading Squirtles this week.

For the Squad, it's more savvy waiver wire manuvering as Delonte West has suddenly returned to fantasy prominence with 20.5 PTS, 5.75 REB, 2 STL, and a handful of 3PT. We haven't talked much about Kevin Garnett this year because he's just so consistently dominating (24.25 PTS, 9.5 REB, 4.25 AST, 3 STL, 1 BLK and great percentages) but he's almost the steal of the draft at #7 overall -- unless it's Gilbert Arenas at #6 overall.


5-4, Flaming Shrapnel vs Rhythm Drive
The Drive have made big changes themselves this week and they're hoping that it'll enable them to pull out of a two game nose dive. Despite putting up a good fight against the Western Conference leader, the Drive fell short in REB (by 30) and lost BLK too; the newly acquired Emeka Okafor will do his damnest to make sure that never happens again. The Jubas didn't have a great week by their high standards -- Tracy McGrady rode the pine -- but they had enough from Andre Igoudala and the immortal Dwayne Wade (31 PTS, 5.7 REB, 7 AST, 3 STL) to pull out the win.

5-4, Chunky Monkeys vs Funk Coalition
These two teams have made two trades each so it's fitting that after this week, both of their personalities will look to change drastically. The Monkeys will get smaller without Tim Duncan, the Funk will get super small by moving Emeka Okafor and importing Raymond Felton; plus adding a bunch of waiver wire guards. This week, the Funk were undermanned (no Redd, no TJ Ford, one game missed from Lebron) and overpowered. The Monkeys blasted them from the get-go and the matchup wasn't as close as the score indicated. It looks like Josh Smith is finally finding a groove with 20.5 PTS, 9.5 REB, 2 STL, and 2.75 BLK for the week -- J.Smooth indeed. Next week, everything changes for these two.

6-3, Pooh Bears vs Human Amoeba
It looks like the Pooh Bears are making a push to join the playoff party. Three straight wins later, they are nipping at the heels of this week's opponent, the Amoebas, and Rhythm Drive for that final Eastern Conference playoff spot. After squeaking out category wins in PTS (+27), REB (+11), and BLK (+4) this week, the Bears may have finally learned how to win. Point guard Andre Miller has been Jason Kidd-like with 16 PTS, 6.75 REB, and 10 AST for the week. Someone's loving life as a Sixer!

It's hard to say how the Amoebas lost after cleaning out Rhythm Drive in spectacular fashion last week, but it probably has something to do with Andrea Bargnani, Quentin Richardson, and Jarrett Jack all sucking it up big time this week. It may be time to dip into that bench and see if Marvin Williams is ready for the big time. Let's just call this an emotional let-down game for the Amoebas after a record making win last week.

Bob, Bob, Bobcats, Ho!

It's not easy following in the footsteps of the six player blockbuster from earlier this week but Reno and Jon pushed through a six player deal of their own late Wednesday night. After months of intense psychic badgering and negotiating, Jon was able to acquire two Bobcats for the price of one.

Raymond Felton and Adam Morrison, welcome to Funk-land. Out the door to Rhythm nation is Emeka Okafor, Sam Cassell, Kyle Korver, and Matt Barnes. That's right boys and girls, a four-for-two trade. How does it all shake out for these two third place teams? Will this trade allow them to move up in the standings?

Team Reno has been winning (with smoke and mirrors) but this trade should help them dominate the league in REB and BLK -- especially since one of their main competitors in those categories, the Monkeys, have dismantled some their nuclear shot swatters. Emeka Okafor has been traded twice in two weeks but that's hardly an affront to his abilities. With healthy nightly double-doubles and his unearthly BLK (3 per game), Okafor can be a game changer. Now he gets to play alongside draft mate Dwight Howard who provides the exact same strengths.

Although losing a young talent, and a third round pick, in Raymond Felton hurts, Felton's main strengths (AST and STL) were this team's weaknesses and he couldn't single-handedly do much to improve those categories. His low field goal percentage was hurting the Drive too. Sam Cassell is lights out when he plays and is capable of some big scoring nights even at his advanced age.

Reno is looking to sacrifice Felton for some additional PTS and 3PT and that's exactly what he'll get with Kyle Korver and Matt Barnes. Korver is essentially what Adam Morrison will become in a year or two, but he can do it all now. Matt Barnes is a wild card since he's obviously capable of putting up big numbers when given the minutes. Even after the big GS-Ind trade, Barnes is still contributing across the board in all categories. Barne's wild fantasy ride might be coming to a close, but his value should still remain high.

Rhythm Drive will now look to sweep REB-BLK-FG%-TO each week, while competing hard in PTS and 3PT with Mike Miller, Luol Deng, Cassell, Korver, and Barnes. Another player could be moved here -- do we hear Brad Miller? -- for another shooting star. Keep your eyes and ears open for offers people.

As for the Funk Coalition, they got the young point guard they coveted but at what cost? It was essentially an exchange of Mehmet Okur, Sam Cassell, Kyle Korver, Mike Dunleavy, and Matt Barnes for Raymond Felton and Adam Morrison. Korver, Dunleavy, and Barnes are each comparable to young Adam, that's three serviceable starters for one streaky one.

Felton is capable of putting up great AST-STL-3PT numbers, but Cassell and Okur are hardly slouches themselves. What Funk has done is deal away a ton of useful swingmen depth for an up-and-comer. That move might come back to haunt them; especially with Michael Redd still injured.

GM Jon is hoping that Earl Boykins stays hot and young players like Randy Foye and Gerald Green can step into the regular rotation. And of course, eternal Funk favorite, and NBA champion, Antoine Walker was signed immediately as a concession to the rabid pro-ex-Celtic fanbase.

It looks like a win-win for both teams but only time will tell if this trade moves either team into true championship contention. Either way, two mega-deals in one week is pretty damn exciting! Let's keep it up!

Blockbuster!

Under the cover of night, we had the biggest trade of the season occur while all other SlamNation owners were still sleeping. GMs Roger and Evan burned the midnight oil and might have used some cloak and dagger tactics to consummate their deal of number-17 overall pick Joe Johnson for number-19 overall pick Tim Duncan.

Rumors swirl that Joe Johnson was headed to the land of Juba instead (possibly for Tracy McGrady) but Evan swooped in on his black horse and offered multiple time MVP Timmy D and stole Johnson from Eric-L's grasp. This is just rumored of course.

This signals a big shift in focus for the Chunky Monkeys. After two deals in two weeks, they've moved their two biggest frontline anchors -- Duncan and Okafor -- in exchange for the sweet shooting Joe Johnson and Mehmet Okur. It looks like the Monkeys are moving to put some explosive offensive talent around Gilbert Arenas and shift the burden of carrying the team squarely onto his shoulders.

The Monkeys also acquired Tyson Chandler and Rajon Rondo in the deal. Chandler should bring back some REB and BLK to make up for the loss of Duncan; with Andris Biedrins and Josh Smith still on board, the Monkeys will remain formidable around the rim. Rondo is still a project at this point, although his minutes have been increasing and he could be a nice AST and STL asset in the near future. Teaming Rondo up with Shaun Livingston could provide the Monkeys with an enviable backcourt for the future.

For Buffy, the deal was a no-brainer. Duncan solidifies a team that is laid low with injuries and while Joe Johnson is a true talent, there's nothing he does that Baron Davis, Chris Paul, Rashard Lewis, and Antawn Jamison (not to mention Jamal Crawford and JR Smith) can't do. This was a case of dealing from strength to acquire a superstar in the front court. Buffy hasn't been able to use the full services of Shaquille O'Neal or Chris Webber yet this season -- and possibly ever without the help of a time machine -- so this deal for Duncan makes a lot of sense.

With a front line that could soon read: Tim Duncan, Eddy Curry, and Shaquille O'Neal, this team will be formidable on the blocks and from the perimeter. Gearing up for a championship run takes a move exactly like this. Even though FT% is now being punted, the rewards should be huge.

And it's not like the other players acquired on the Buffy side of the trade are terrible either. Mike Dunleavy is much maligned but as a low end starter he's capable of providing the type of all-around stats that help any winning team. Nick Collison has been putting up ridiculous double-doubles (29 PTS and 21 REB on Jan 9th) for a month now and even if he doesn't keep this up, he's got value with great FG% and some BLK.

What this means is that Buffy is reloading and when fully healthy, their worst starter could be Mike Dunleavy, Nick Collision, JR Smith, or Cuttino Mobley. It's kind of outrageous. Add it all up and that makes for the deepest and most flexible team in the league.

The trade seems to be fairly evenly matched for both teams, but I'd give a slight edge to Buffy since they are primed for a deep post-season push with this move, while the Monkeys are clearly using this as another step toward transforming the look and feel of their team.

Two Grade-A fantasy superstars traded, awesome!

Recap: Week 12

Conference Games
9-0, Human Amoebas vs Rhythm Drive
7-1, Squirtle Squad vs Buffy
8-1, Poobic Heirs vs Phanatics
6-3, Chunky Monkeys vs MoRRie's Pogiboys

Inter-Conference Games
7-2, Fat Jubas vs Funk Coalition
9-0, Human Amoebas vs Rhythm Drive

This was a week of intense beat downs. No 5-4 scores here buddy. Every team that lost was thoroughly beaten and this was highlighted by our first 9-0 week as the Human Amoebas took the Rhythm Drive to the rack, to the basket, to the bench, to the streets, stomped the yard, back to Reno's home, and then took him one last time in the bedroom. Just walk it off baby, walk it off.

9-0, Human Amoebas vs Rhythm Drive
What can you say about an unanimous victory? The Amoebas hurled injury onto insult by dropping 55 3PT on the Drive (18 from Raja and 16 from Quentin Richardson). In Reno's defense, Steve Francis is still ailing and not in lineup. Keep in mind, Reno was on a four game winning streak here. What happened?!?

7-2, Fat Jubas vs Funk Coalition
The Jubas trounced the Funk in Week 1 and they did it again in their second matchup. Funk tried to dial it in from downtown -- 55 3PT -- but they weren't really in contention versus a Jubas team that is finding its groove and not looking back. Josh Howard is making his push for All-Star status (27.3 PTS, 9 REB, 2 3PT, 1.7 STL) -- and succeeding.

7-1, Squirtle Squad vs Buffy
Buffy gave it a go but only managed to tie in AST and win STL. Everything aside from that was all Squirtles. Even with a Kevin Garnett suspension and just two games from Ray Allen, Brian had enough punch to take Roger out early. All hail Matt Carroll (17.5 PTS, 2.25 3PT, 52.2 FG%), who has been putting up ridiculous numbers for awhile now. Carroll is the rich man's Adam Morrison!

8-1, Poobic Heirs vs Phanatics
Life goes on for the injury plagued Phanatics as they only managed to win the turnover battle - by playing seven less games. Kobe could have probably beat the entire Phanatic team this week by himself as the Heirs nearly doubled the Phanatics in just about every category. In good news, David West did come back to put up 22.5 PTS and 11.5 REB in two games (on the bench) which is nice.

7-2, Pooh Bears vs Sour Snails
God this man is scary. Take a look at the picture of Stephen Jackson. This is the way this man takes a publicity shot? With a snarl and a look of utter wickedness? Geezes. Shame Jackson's crazy Golden State start (29 PTS, 7 REB, 5 AST, 5 STL, 5 3PT) couldn't quite push the Snails to a win -- or even within a rocket launcher's distance of a win.

6-3, Chunky Monkeys vs MoRRie's Pogiboys
The only West team to beat an East opponent this week? The Monkeys, who won the squeaker of the week by beating the Pogiboys by only three categories. That loss might have something to do with Alvin's Double-Ds (Damon Jones and Damon Stoudamire), who combined to score 33 points total in seven games. The Monkeys got an immediate return from Mehmet Okur (27 PTS, 7.5 REB, 2.25 3PT) and Mike Dunleavy (16 PTS, 8 REB, 3.5 AST, 2 3PT) on their way to an easy win.

Mid-Season Review: Part 2

DARK HORSES
These two teams are very similar. Both are top of the charts in statistical rankings, but a bit disappointing in the wins department. A look over their well-balanced rosters would indicate that they should be higher in the standings, but they are each floundering near even. Then again, would you want to meet either one at full strength in the playoffs? That's why they're the dark horses and primed for a surge or an upset in the second half of the season.

Chunky Monkeys (5-3-3)
I guess conceivably, the Monkeys could be better record-wise; but who knows how those three ties might have ended up. For now, they're just bit by the injury bug (Mo Williams, Charlie Villanueva, Josh Smith, Manu Ginobili) and unable to complete the push to a fully dominant team. However, with Gilbert Arenas, arguably the best fantasy player in the land, the Monkeys can still compete week in and week out. Plus, let's not forget the statistical rock that is Tim Duncan. With waiver wire revelation Andris Biedrins and Duncan anchoring the front court (and until recently, Emeka Okafor), the rest of this roster is devoted to guards.

Jason Terry and Manu Ginobili provide all that you'd want from the shooting guard position -- PTS, STL, a boatload of 3PT and even some AST. Young'uns Danny Granger and Shaun Livingston have both been inconsistent but Josh Smith is looking like he might justify his lofty third round pick status. The real story for the Monkeys is Mo Williams, who has turned into one of the best fantasy point guards in the league (17 PTS, 5 REB, 6 AST with STL/3PT/FT% to boot). Once Mo and Josh Smith return to full strength, the Monkeys are ready for a strong second half push.

Poobic Heirs (5-5-1)
I'd like to rank the Heirs higher than the Monkeys but their record against winning teams trouble me. They've only won one game against a winning team (this past week versus a deflated Buffy) and despite some awe inducing pieces and statistical rankings, they're just not that good. Add in Yao Ming's injury and we think the best this team can do is stay afloat until the big man returns. Then again, if Andrew Bogut and Sam Dalembert want to pick up the slack, they can support Kobe and Co and pick up some steam in the mean time.

Oliver has some unearthed some true fantasy gems -- Kevin Martin and Monta Ellis -- and the transformation of Caron Butler into an All-Star has made the Heirs amazingly explosive. Kirk Hinrich, Rasheed Wallace, and even Shane Battier have been a tad disappointing, but it's hard to say that they're doing poorly. Ricky Davis is a nice statistical glue man so essentially, this team runs ten deep with quality players; making them possibly the best and deepest team in the league. When will they start playing like it? Are they saving themselves for a long playoff run?

TOILET BOWL
Right now, these four teams are headed to the Toilet Bowl. Unless Ping and Jose can pick it up, they're slated to compete with Alvin and Trieu for next year's top pick. While the Pooh Bears and the Phanatics aren't that far off the playoff pace, the two teams in front of them (Evan and Oliver) are both looking pretty solid for the playoff hunt. So, who's headed for the #1 pick and Greg Oden?

100AcreWoodPoohBears (3-7-1)
It's not like the Bears are that bad; they're just not that good. Point guards Mike Bibby and Andre Miller are both top guards and provide excellent shooting and passing numbers. Brevin Knight has left the Earth (not literally) but he could conceivably come back and push this team to dominance in the AST department. Pau Gasol has returned from a broken foot way earlier than anticipated and is rounding into shape. Ben Gordon is a scoring machine. Shawn Marion is down a bit from his previous seasons, but he's still an all-around monster. Tayshaun Prince is having a (fantasy) career year and even Chris Wilcox hasn't been too bad -- even if he hasn't exactly exploded like predicted. The loss of Peja Stojakovic isn't a huge hit, since he wasn't counted on to be much more than a 3PT specialist anyway.

Everything looks great right? So, what's the problem (aside from a huge amount of injuries)? It's Andrei Kirilenko, who isn't the AK47 of the past and showing no signs of justifying his second round pick -- unless 9 PTS, 5 REB, 3 AST and 1 STL (albeit with 2 BLK) is what you were looking for. AK47 has suddenly morphed into Darko Milicic. Jose needs to find a way to make his team gel and to make up for the statistical black hole that is named Andrei. Out of all the potential Toilet Bowl teams, they have the best chance of getting out, but that's not saying much.

Phanatics (3-8)
Similar to the Pooh Bears, the Phanatics are pretty good on paper, but most of their roster sits on the bench. Paul Pierce, Marcus Camby, Lamar Odom, Richard Jefferson, David West, and Drew Gooden have all been injured for significant amounts of time. At full strength, with Vince Carter, that's seven very solid players. However, when you're forced to rely on the likes of Antoine Walker, Nazr Mohammed, Al Harrington and Luke Ridnour as your best players, that's not going to fly.

Al Harrington has actually been pretty good (15.8 PTS, 6 REB, 1.5 3PT) and Luke Ridnour is outplaying his eighth round status (13.7 PTS, 5.9 AST, 1.3 STL) but this team would be much better served if they were the eighth and ninth best players in the lineup, not the second and third. There's nothing to do here but wait for the gang to get healthy; and even then, this team might be too imbalanced -- no AST/STL/BLK but plenty of PTS/REB -- to win consistently.

MoRRie's Pogiboys (1-10)
Where did it all go wrong? Has an entire team ever underachieved all at the same time? We can safely say, "yes." But at least there's a light at the end of the tunnel for the Pogiboys. For example, it's safe to say that Stephon Marbury is back to around 20 PTS and 7 AST, and he's added a shiny new 3PT shot this year. Elton Brand isn't having a MVP-type year but he's still 20-9 with BLKs. And the other top pick, Chauncey Billups has cemented his status as a fantasy star with 18 PTS and 8 AST with plenty of threes and steals. That's it for the good news.

Gerald Wallace, the third round pick, hasn't played enough to see whether or not he's an injury bust -- strong indicators point to "maybe." Chris Kaman, Troy Murphy, Channing Frye, Speedy Claxton, Ike Diogu, Kwame Brown, Derek Fisher, Vladimir Radmanovic and nearly everyone else has been somewhere between disappointing and ridiculously bad. Alonzo Mourning has been a stud but what're you going to do with his 89 BLKs when you can't win the other eight categories? Some waiver wire pickups have been little sparks of sunshine -- Damon Jones, Willie Green, Damien Wilkins, Dikembe Mutombo, Juwan Howard -- but it's hardly enough to create any heat.

The Pogiboys have played an amazing NINE point guards so far this season -- and this isn't a guard orientated team. The amazing nine: Billups, Marbury, Claxton, Fisher, Damon Jones, Jason Williams, Sebastian Telfair, Tyronn Lue, and Damon Stoudamire. The Pogiboys are preparing to take their best shot at Oden, good luck man.

Sour Snails (1-10)
After picking up a huge first win just this past week, the Snails are showing some signs of life. At the mid-point of the season, they've had the equivalent of the seven biblical plagues befall their team. Injuries, trade demands, bad roster management, more injuries, underachievers, and um, more underachieving and more injuries. Jason Richardson, Ron Artest, Morris Peterson, Larry Hughes, and Wally Szerbiak have shuffled in and out of the lineup due to injury. Even when healthy, none of those guys (except Wally) has been playing as predicted.

The two stars of this team, Allen Iverson and Steve Nash, are still top tier players, but Iverson missed a few games while waiting for his ticket out of Hell, and Steve Nash isn't an eight-category fantasy stud. The iron man and possibly third best player on this team so far? Stephen Jackson with 36 games played (14 PTS, 3 REB/AST, 1.1 3PT) -- wasn't he supposed to go to jail? Mike James lost his fantasy mojo playing next to KG and Ricky D in Minnesota, leaving this team barren of talent.

Trieu has done his best to find some nice young players (Rudy Gay, Hakim Warrick, Ryan Gomes, Rasual Butler) but nobody can compete when injuries and inconsistency from your top players hit. Jason Richardson and Ron Artest are not holding up their draft status and probably won't for the forseeable near future. Picks 3-8 on this team were (in order): Artest, Richardson, Mo Peterson, Mike James, Wally Z, Larry Hughes. See what I mean by underachievers?

This team needs to pull it together for a Toilet Bowl push, quick.

Mid-Season Review: Part 1

We're halfway through the season; every team has played each other team once and we're about to reset for the second go-around. How're things looking?

LEADERS OF THE PACK
Still the top dogs, just like after the quarter mark, both of these teams are very strong in their division (Squirtles are undefeated, Jubas have lost one) and are tied for most Points For in the league. In their only head-to-head matchup, the Squirtles beat the Jubas by a very close margin in WK10.

Squirtle Squad (9-2)
Powered by an engine of Kevin Garnett and Carlos Boozer, alongside a top backcourt combination in point guard Deron Williams and shooting guard Ray Allen, this team is tough in all categories. Jamaal Tinsley has been a nice (healthy) suprise and Boris Diaw -- while disappointing to an extent as a third round pick -- is being used perfectly as an all-around talent with a strong passing eye.

An underrated key member of this squad is Andres Nocioni, who has turned into quite the gunner (1.7 3PT) in support of Ray Allen. Brandon Roy is back and putting up nice peripheral numbers, and even though Nenad Krstic is lost for the season, Brian is able to plug in any holes with a quick and effective free-agent trigger finger (David Lee, Erick Dampier). The Squirtles are poised to remain the top team for the second half of the season and heading into the playoffs.

Fat Jubas (8-2)
The Jubas are deep, and even with the sometimes injured duo of Tracy McGrady and Dwayne Wade, they can beat anyone on any given week. Wade and McGrady are two of the best all-around talents in the game, but behind them are two up and comers in Andre Igoudala and Josh Howard. Both are having breakout seasons and are bonafide stars. Jermaine O'Neal may be unhappy in real life but he's swatting shots for fantasy purposes (3.2 BLK). Alongside him is Al Jefferson, who is finally cashing in on some of his talent. Don't forget the resurgent Mark Blount, the pretty decent play of Zaza Pachulia, and of course, Darko Milicic

The other huge bargain basement pick made good this season is Leandro Barbosa, who is the little scoring engine that could. Drop in Tony Parker and we're talking about a team whose eighth best player is Al Jefferson, Barbosa, or Corey Maggette. And if the promising duo of Lamarcus Aldridge and Tyrus Thomas get some more playing time, that's even more frontcourt depth. Scary.

CONTENDERS
The following four teams have been good, but not great. Each have been close to, or sat atop, the standings at one point or another, but a few hiccups have them one step behind the favorites.

Rhythm Drive (7-3-1)
The Drive is on a four game winning streak and killing teams behind the big two of Chris Bosh and Dwight Howard. Howard is a manimal and Bosh is terrific when healthy -- which has been his one Achille's heel. The veteran twin towers -- Brad Miller and Zydrunas Ilgauskas -- are doing their part in support of the young bigs and with the emergence of Mike Miller and Luol Deng as fantasy darlings, Rhythm Drive is good on the wings and in the low blocks.

Point man Raymond Felton started slow but he's putting up gaudy AST numbers now that he's the main man in Charlotte. Rookie Adam Morrison has been having an airball or swish kind of year, but he still remains useful. Most of all, Grant Hill has been relatively healthy and serving nicely as a jack-of-all-trades. Is this team the third best in the league? The record says "yes."

Human Amoebas (6-4-1)
Why make a roster move when you keep on winning? The Amoebas defied all pre-season expectations and saw every semi-questionable draft pick turn to gold. Amare Stoudemire came back strong, Raja Bell and Quentin Richardson shot the lights out, Andrea Bargnani and Marvin Williams are both displaying their burgeoning talent, and most of all, Zach Randolph is going bananas -- that's not to say that he looks like a gorilla, but seriously, he does.

Big Dirk Nowitzki is steady as rain and Jason Kidd is still a nightly triple-double threat. Add in nice pieces like the consistent Rip Hamilton and the not-so-consistent Jarrett Jack, and this team is balanced and poweful. Of course, Ben Wallace lurks in the middle too. At full strength, this team should be able to compete with anyone in any category; plus they are excellent shooters from the field and from the stripe, which is always a nice edge to have.

Buffy (7-4)
Talent-wise, Buffy should be near tops in the league. Chris Paul, Joe Johnson, Baron Davis, Antawn Jamison and Rashard Lewis are the envy of any owner. Mid-tier picks Eddy Curry, JR Smith, Tyson Chandler and Jamal Crawford have been pretty great. Even with Chris Webber and Shaquille as dead weight on the bench (both soon to return to fantasy relevance?), Buffy is loaded. Tenth man Luke Walton is the perfect all-around player that any winning team needs.

The problem here is that Buffy is suffering from a serious spate of injuries. Paul and Lewis are both down for the count. In addition, Joe Johnson has gone a bit cold; Jamison is clearly the third option in Washington; and JR Smith is going to lose some value with AI in town. Still, this team is loaded from top to bottom and look for them to get healthy and make their way to the top in a few weeks.

Funk Coalition (7-4)
The Funk have done a good job staying afloat without Carmelo -- using hot streaks by Matt Barnes and Earl Boykins to win 3 out of 4 -- but this team is built a little too delicately to suffer games missed by their stars. Losing Michael Redd for six weeks will be that kind of big loss. With the ability to only win the five small ball categories, this team can be toppled by any imbalance in the force.

TJ Ford and Rafer Alston have been great; with Ford providing the AST and Alston the AST/STL/3PT trifecta but Jameer Nelson has been a big disappointment -- as a fourth round pick no less. A few white shooters (Korver and Dunleavy) are doing their part but it's really up to the Big Three to pour on the PTS. One overlooked stat: is Lebron hurting this team with his poor FT%? He might be, especially since all his other stats are also down from last year. The Funk are good, but they're only going to beat you one way, and if they can't do that, they run out of options pretty quickly.

Coming Tomorrow: The Dark Horses and the Toilet Bowl

Okurfur!

As a testament to the true relaunch of SlamNation, Funk Coalition and the Chunky Monkeys agreed to the first deal of the season. This isn't your typical Dikembe Mutombo for Shaquille O'Neal circa 1992 type of deal but it does involve some pretty good players. After over a month of intense negotiation and many failed attempts at day-dreamed 3 or 4 way trades with partners that ultimately never responded, Funk and the Monkeys finally realized that the best trading partners were themselves.

Negotiating down to the last minute, Funk Coalition agreed to send Mehmet Okur and Mike Dunleavy to the Monkeys in exchange for Emeka Okafor. While Okur and Dunleavy should have immediate impact (see over 50 plus points in first night of action as members of the Monkeys), Okafor could well be trade bait for the vertically challenged Coalitioners. Okafor has been steady this year averaging nearly 15 pts, 11 rebounds and more importantly, almost 3 blocks a game.

Okur has been that rare 7 foot 3 point specialist while Dunleavy is one of those 5-tool players that Monkeys' GM, Evan Shiue, usually covets. In his weekly address to fans, Shiue had the following comments: "This is a good deal for both teams. I know that Okur and Dunleavy will be important starters for us going forward and hopefully Okafor can represent what Jon is looking for for his team down the line as well."

Also, Okur and Dunleavy would be the 3rd and 4th Caucasian starters for the Monkeys. According to team officials, "Affirmative action does not exist here in our organization but management truly believes that diversity is good for all of us."

Recap: Week 11

Inter-Conference Games
5-4, Sour Snails vs Human Amoebas
5-4, Rhythm Drive vs Funk Coalition
5-4, Squirtle Squad vs Chunky Monkeys
5-4, Fat Jubas vs MoRRie's Pogiboys
8-1, Poobic Heirs vs Buffy
7-2, Pooh Bears vs Phanatics

Conference Games
none
(statistics)

5-4, Sour Snails vs Human Amoebas
This is NOT a misprint, the Snails have won! Cue the party music, reserve the championship banner, get that parade started. It might have taken eleven weeks to reach their first win but the Snails did it in high style by knocking off a top team -- with four less games played no less, and Wally World in the lineup but injured. Everyone on the Snails roster rattled in at least three 3PT en route to 44 3PT on the week, and Steve Nash dropped 13.3 dimes per game in order to almost single-handedly win AST. Goooaaallllll!

In the duel of Canada versus Germany, Dirk Nowitski put up the gaudy all-around numbers (32.5 PTS, 8.5 REB, 1.5 3PT, 53.8 FG%) but in the end, it was the weak shooting of Marvin Williams (27.8 FG%) that did the Amoeba Goliath in. Zach Randolph's 1-12 shooting day on Sunday probably didn't help either, as he shot an uncustomarily poor 40.9% for the week.

5-4, Fat Jubas vs MoRRie's Pogiboys
We seem to say this every week but the Pogiboys are getting closer. This week, they lost by 5 REB; in past weeks, they've lost by close margins in other categories. Taking out a full strength Jubas team (well, Zaza went down) would have been a nice feather in MoRRie's cap. In the end, despite a poor shooting week, Al Jefferson managed to snag 13.7 REB in each of three games to power the Jubas to a win.

The Pogiboys were working short handed too, with team leader Chauncey Billups on the bench -- but in the lineup. His likely replacement, Channing Frye, would have gotten that REB win. That's how close it is each week. One decision can make or break you. Mount Mutombo did his damnest (15.75 REB, 2.5 BLK) to push the Pogiboys over the hill, but alas, it wasn't quite enough.

5-4, Squirtle Squad vs Chunky Monkeys
The Monkeys are hurting, or rather, the menagerie that is the Monkeys is hurting; Fellow Bucks Mo Williams and Charlie Villanueva are down, as is Hawk Josh Smith. Raptor Jorge Garbajosa might as well be extinct for the way he played (4.5 PTS, 2 REB). Only Bobcat Emeka Okafor managed to put up a career high 10 BLK in one game, but that all of that wasn't nearly enough to douse the fiery shooting of Squirtle Squad.

After a few weeks of off-kilter shooting, Ray Allen is en fuego again (36 PTS, 4.7 3PT) -- with a 54 point game on Friday night. Allen also had the support of Carlos Boozer (30 PTS, 11 REB, 2 STL avg) and as always, the Big Ticket, Kevin Garnett. There's some underperforming players at the end of this lineup -- David Lee and Damien Wilkins -- but who cares? The turtles are number one! Cowabunga!

And yes, I know the picture does not depict a Squirtle, it's a Wartortle, the evolved version. Next evolution is Blastoise, duh.

5-4, Rhythm Drive vs Funk Coalition
Reno's team takes over the mantle of the league's hottest team by edging out Jon in the waning moments of the week. With his win, Reno moves up to second place in the East; strangely, with his loss, Jon moves up to second place in the West. On Sunday, the game came down to Chris Bosh versus TJ Ford for PTS and TO. Bosh upchucked 6 TO but also scored 24 PTS, allowing Rhythm Drive to win PTS by 9.

Neither team had a great week but with Mike Miller's continued hot shooting (20 PTS, 2 3PT), Rhythm Drive had enough to knock off an inter-conference foe and establish themselves as a team to beat. The Funk probably shouldn't get too comfortable atop the standings, as Michael Redd is slated to miss 4-6 weeks.

8-1, Poobic Heirs vs Buffy
Ouch. Buffy is usually on the "kick" part of the "kick ass" equation; this week they were the "ass." What're you going to do though when you're the team hardest hit by injuries? The news gets worse for Buffy as breakout player Tony Allen tears an ACL going for a dunk. The return of JR Smith will hardly alleviate that pain. Also, everyone is wondering: what's up with Joe Johnson? What happened to the triple-double threat of earlier in the season? Oh well, at least the boy can still shoot -- (19 PTS, 3 REB/AST, 2.3 3PT).

The Heirs had an outstanding week with contributions from nearly everyone on the roster and it's hard to pinpoint anyone who had a spectacular week in such blow out. Oh wait, there's been a Samuel Dalembert sighting! Big Sam shot amazing, rebounded well, and swatted shots with aplomb (15 PTS, 12 REB, 3.5 BLK, 55.6 FG%, 83.3 FT%). If Sam keeps getting almost forty minutes a night, he might be able to keep up those numbers -- keep in mind though, Dalembert's done this before and faded fast.

7-2, Pooh Bears vs Phanatics
Making his own case for the team hardest hit by injuries, the Phanatics were on the receiving end of a beat down themselves. Paul Pierce and Lamar Odom are still not showing any signs of returning (although David West is practicing) and even worse, the rest of the team isn't picking up the slack. The only bright spot here? Mighty Earl Watson (36 AST over three games), but his minutes have reduced Phanatic teammate Luke Ridnour's effectiveness (7.7 PTS, 1.3 AST). It's a time share, and not a good one for the Phanatics. Hang on tight Ping, the cavalry's coming...eventually.

For the Pooh Bears, it's the Ruben Patterson show! With averages of 19.7 PTS, 6.3 REB, and 4.7 AST, Ruben is taking over as the number one everything for the injury ravaged Bucks. Actually, to be honest, it's the Ben Gordon show. Little Ben averaged 24 PTS and 4 3PT on 56.4 FG% this week and with numbers like that, he's proving to be the new-age Microwave. And he doesn't just shoot either with 3.5 REB/AST; fine, he mainly just shoots but man is he good at it.

Redd-rum

Despite a sterling three wins without the heart and soul (and fist) of the team, Carmelo Anthony, the citizens of Funk-land are in no mood to celebrate Anthony's impending return. The reason? In the immortal words of Howard Cosell, "Down goes Redd! Down goes Redd!"

In case you missed that historic call, Michael Redd, the sweet-shooting lefty with the big noggin and receding hairline, is headed to the bench for six weeks after suffering a cruel twist of fate -- otherwise known as a knee injury.

The Funk were looking forward to being at full strength again -- with Anthony and Sam Cassell both returning to the lineup -- but have resigned themselves to fighting for the conference lead with yet another high scoring marquee player dinged up. What could go wrong next? Lebron James gets injured during a commercial shoot? Matt Barnes turns Average Joe? Earl Boykins isn't tall enough to get on Splash Mountain and then gets traded (a good thing in this particular case)? The Funk are ready for anything.

In related news, the Funk are in desperate talks to move some of his pieces around for another point guard. Calling all point guard owning owners. Rumors abound that Mehmet Okur is on the block, along with a bevy of nice add-ons, including a nifty new Apple iPhone for the team who is willing to deal with Funk. Please, someone, trade with me.

Yo, Reno! (Yo, Rocko!)

With the last pick in the draft, Reno was at a decided disadvantage at acquiring a top tier star. However, that double down pick got him two coveted young bigs, Dwight Howard and Chris Bosh. Rhythm Drive is now 6-3-1, fighting for the conference lead and on a streak of three straight wins. Not bad. What has Reno put around Howard and Bosh to lead to such a stellar start of the season? Let's find out.

PTS, REB, AST: As you would expect from a roster replete with big men, Rhythm Drive can rebound. The surprising thing is that they're not ranked in the top three; they're just outside at number four. Dwight Howard is a man-beast with over 12 REB per game, but Chris Bosh isn't far behind at nearly a dozen per game himself. Zydrunas Ilgauskas is at about 8 REB per game, and everyone else in the starting lineup is solid at around 5 REB (aside from Adam Morrison).

The Drive is not so good at scoring or passing. They are ranked 10th in PTS and a putrid 12th in AST. There's only one 20+ scorer on this team, Bosh, and he's barely over the 20-point mark. Luol Deng, Mike Miller, and Dwight Howard hover around 17 points per game. That's not enough. In addition, Felton is the only good passer on the team (he averages around 7 AST but is capable of exploding on some nights). Brad Miller is no longer a premier passing center, and the only other guy who even thinks about passing is the other Miller, Mike, who's only at about 4 AST per game. Felton dishes it to his bigs and never gets the ball back, oh well.

STL, BLK, 3PT: Similarly, with few true point or shooting guards on this team, Rhythm is last in STL and also not too stellar in 3PT either (ranked 9th). In the latter category, Mike Miller's averaging almost ten three-point shot attempts per game over the last two weeks, and if he keeps that up, he could single-handedly win that category for Reno. However, this is generally not a strong 3PT shooting team. Mickael Pietrus isn't too bad, and Adam Morrison and Raymond Felton make their contributions, but there are no deep gunners here (Tim Thomas and Donyell Marshall do reside on the bench however).

If you're packing four seven-footers, you better be able to put up some blocks. With that being the case, Rhythm Drive can do the dew, rejecting enough shots to rank 5th in the league. Not bad, but not overwhelmingly stellar. Despite all this height, the only true shot-blocking threat on this team is Howard, who averages two swats per game. Bosh isn't a shot blocker, averaging just about one per game -- that's about what Mickael Pietrus contributes as a much smaller player. Big Z can still play some D (almost 1.5 BLK a game) but he's slowing down. Then again, he is 7'3" and capable of blocking five shots a night once in awhile.

FG%, FT%, TO: The real strength of this team is in FG%. Everyone on this team shoots well, often very well, with the exception of Ray Felton (38.3 FG%). Howard and Deng are in particular, spectacular, at over 54% FG-shooting each. That's good enough for 2nd in the FG% rankings. It's a different matter in FT% though. Dwight Howard hits the line so often (and the bottom of the net much less often) that he single-handedly kills FT%. Clank, second to last here. You take the good, you take the bad, with the new 21st century Shaq.

The other thing Howard does is turn the ball over -- to the tune of 3.5 TO per game. That's a huge number considering he's a big man. Oh well, what can you do? He'll get better. Of the rest of the team, only Felton, Grant Hill, and Mike Miller average more than 2 TO per game, but they are primary ball handlers so that's to be expected. The Rhythm Drive are a lackluster, but not bad, 7th in the turnover department.

Bench: As mentioned above, Tim Thomas and Donyell Marshall are available, but at this point in their careers, Thomas is a pure gunner (not that he ever wasn't) and Donyell is far off his prime. Both are good for a few 3PT, a few REB, and maybe ten points a game -- with Donyell pushing a few BLK. Purely injury fill-ins.

Bobby Jackson IS a walking injury, he needs to go, even if he has some value once every blue moon -- two years ago. The mighty mite and instigator of The Rocky Mountain Brawl, Nate Robinson, is returning soon, and he could prove to be useful off the bench as an offensive spark plug. Same thing with the Ex-Franchise, Steve Francis. He's been pretty reliable this season if you think of him as a low-level guard who can give you some decent AST numbers and maybe some scoring.

Analysis: So things don't sound so hot for the Rhythm Drive statistically. Under league rankings, they're second-to-last in power points. Taking into account a slew of injuries -- the only guys who have played 30 or more games are: Ilgauskas, Howard, Felton, Deng, and Miller -- and sporatic play, this team is still way above 0.500 and has beaten many of the top teams in the league. How they're doing it I'm not sure, since they exhibit no real strength aside from FG%.

I mean, last week, we covered a team that was great on paper but didn't win many games; Rhythm Drive is the exact opposite. They just win baby. Rhythm Drive has also played less games than anyone but the Sour Snails, another hurdle they've climbed in their winning season. This team must have a lot of heart; they must eat lightning and crap thunder.

Reno has also been active on the waiver wire, going through Sarunas Jasikevicius, Ronny Turiaf, Juan Dixon, Kyle Lowry, Randy Foye, and Jordan Farmar at points in the season. The overrated and now super injured Kenyon Martin was cut loose early, but his potential stats are missed on this team (REB and BLK).

I have a few suggestions; as always. It's time to go big, like real big. Push REB, FG% and BLK (and push TO down if possible) to the highest levels. I'm not sure how Reno always wins, but it would help if they had some real sustainable strengths. One more big guy would make a huge difference on the boards and on defense. Build around Dwight Howard's strengths -- and drop FT%, it's a lost category with Howard around obviously. Find another traditional big guy to fill the blocks next to Dwight. Zydrunas will get old(er), Brad Miller isn't a real center, and Bosh can't block shots. Dwight needs a buddy; even someone with low-end double doubles and blocks. Chris Kaman springs to mind.

And there's also the issue of PTS and 3PT; neither of which are real strengths on paper, but somehow, Reno must win them occasionally. Should someone be brought in to pump up those areas? I dunno.

The strengths of this team is obvious with rising stars Howard-Bosh-Deng and Mike Miller and Felton in the backcourt -- plus, Mickael Pietrus could have a future as a nice PTS-REB-3PT guy. But this team might be headed for a fall since they seem to be weirdly statistically inept -- except where it counts of course, in the wins column.

Adam Morrison's top end would be to turn into a Mike Miller type player, albeit with less of an all-around game; but that'll be next year at the earliest. The bench and the lower end of the roster should be used to invest in guys like Hakim Warrick, Paul Millsap, Al Jefferson, Andrew Bynum and other young bigs that will really help this team down the road.

This team is winning big now, but can they keep it up? I guess doubters always suffer under the wrath of Reno's team -- who's poised to take me out this week!

Crazy: I would (maybe) look to move Raymond Felton. He's a great player with huge upside but if he can be moved for a big man, that would be a boon to the team. His strengths are this team's weaknesses and his weaknesses are this team's strengths. Reno could wait to pair Felton up with a few more backcourt mates, but being ranked dead last in AST and STL is a big hole to climb out of. Felton and another guy might be enough to pull a Duncan or a Brand. Or at worst, move someone to pull in a Ben Wallace or Emeka Okafor type. That would secure REB and BLK for life -- heck, trade for Shaq for the title run.

Recap: Week 10

Inter-Conference Games
5-4, Squirtle Squad vs Fat Jubas
4-4, Chunky Monkeys vs Poobic Heirs
6-3, Buffy vs Pooh Bears
8-1, Human Amoebas vs Phanatics
5-4, Funk Coalition vs MoRRie's Pogiboys
5-4, Rhythm Drive vs Sour Snails

Conference Games
none
(statistics)

5-4, Squirtle Squad vs Fat Jubas
The two best teams in the league faced off and the Squirtles sent the Jubas to the mat with a well balanced week that featured outstanding shooting (50.0 FG%). The Squirtles were suffering from some shooting woes recently but are now back on track -- more accurately, Ray Allen is back on track (53.7 FG%, 27 PTS and 3.5 3PT) and that made all the difference.

The Jubas finally got a healthy Tracy McGrady in the lineup with a huge week -- 35.3 PTS, 7 REB, 4.3 AST, 2.7 3PT -- but an injury to Dwayne Wade left the Jubas at less than full strength. In fact, the Jubas were lucky to win even four categories, as they eeked out victories in PTS (590-575) and TO (67-70) by a hair. The re-match with a healthy Wade could be exciting, perhaps in the Finals?

4-4, Chunky Monkeys vs Poobic Heirs
What is going on? The Monkeys have more ties than losses. If this were chess, they'd be the grandmaster who asks for a draw after five moves -- every game. Just like last week, the Monkeys tied in the 3PT department with their opponent. In fact, the Monkeys did a pretty good job fighting back in the AST department (eventually winning by 10) as the week came to a close but the Yao-less Heirs stuck it out for a big tie (winning PTS by only 3).

For Oliver, Ricky Davis stepped up with 16.25 PTS, 4.5 REB, 5 AST and 2.25 3PT to support Kobe and Caron. The other good news is that sophmore phenom Monta Ellis is back, and he's ready to be re-inserted into the lineup. Evan himself has a Warrior in his starting lineup, sadly that Warrior is Keith McLeod. Who? Yeah, exactly. McLeod dropped 16 PTS and 3 AST/TO/3PT total, dooming the Monkeys to yet another tie. Actually, Jorge Garbajosa and his one game dud might have something to do with the tie. Let's not finger anybody out though, at least it's not a loss!

6-3, Buffy vs Pooh Bears
Make no mistake, Buffy may be hobbled with his entire bench down for the count, but they're still capable of beating any team in the league. Tony Allen is a monster during Paul Pierce's absence, doing a nice approximation of Ron Artest in his prime -- 21.25 PTS, 6 REB, 3.75 STL on 58.5 FG% and 82.6 FT%. Aside from that, the two Knicks, Jamal Crawford and Eddy Curry are kind of nice too. The Baron is still his fine self and even if Joe Johnson is suffering from some weird disease (he's turned into a pure scorer, without any all-around stats) Buffy is strong.

The Pooh Bears couldn't compete this week, but there are some good things happening in the point guard department. Mike Bibby found his stroke -- scoring 28.3 PTS on 51.8 FG% -- and Andre Miller isn't suffering from his trade back East -- 17.3 PTS and 8.7 AST per game. The rest of the team though -- especially AK47, Josh Childress, Ruben Patterson and Tayshaun Prince -- had a terrible scoring period. The Bears suffer from a let down after last week's big win. Walk it off, walk it off.

5-4, Rhythm Drive vs Sour Snails
Dammit, I thought the Snails got one there. But the site didn't update yet and Reno snuck in a few extra points on Sunday, taking the PTS category (427-406) and the win. I guess the Snails will keep waiting for that first victory. It hurts that a suddenly healthy Ron Artest and Wally Szczerbiak were on the bench while Jason Richardson stayed in the lineup while hurt. That could have been the win right there. Maybe next week.

These two teams are the ones who have the least Games Played on the season, the reason for that? Injuries, to be sure, but also a bit of mismanagement? We're not sure. Sam Spade will be looking into that one. One thing Sam won't need to look into is why Mike Miller is dropping a mind boggling 4 3PT a game; he's averaging more than ten attempts for his last eight games. That's a green light to chuck it from afar and Mike's not hesitating -- or missing (53.3 FG%). Mr Bosh is back too, and right back to his 20-10 numbers.

8-1, Human Amoebas vs Phanatics
The beatdown in Motown as the Amoeba engulfed the entire Phanatic team and spit them back out disheveled and confused. Ping's team couldn't do anything right, even losing the TO battle despite playing four fewer games. Who had a good week for the Phanatics? Um, Drew Gooden (18.75 PTS, 11 REB, 58.3 FG%)? But Drew isn't leading anybody to a championship anytime soon. It's just sit and wait until Odom and Pierce come back for the Phreaks I guess, it could be a long winter of discontent for the Phanatics fan(s).

It's not like the Amoebas had a great week, but the Big German blitzkrieged the Phanatics into quick submission with 29 PTS and 10.75 REB on 51.2% shooting. Heil Dirk! Despite a lot of swingmen and smaller players, the Amoeboid are really good at REB. Like, really good (ranked 2nd in the league, but barely off the lead). Dirk, Zach Randolph, Amare Stoudemire, Ben Wallace, and Jason Kidd can all clean the glass, which gives the Amoebas second chances galore.

5-4, Funk Coalition vs MoRRie's Pogiboys
Alvin had Jon on the ropes as the Pogiboys were edging the Funk on FT% but then horror of horrors, late turnovers cost them a crucial category. It's not often that Funk wins the TO battle but in this case, the Pogiboys three extra GP -- plus the (apparently fortuitous) early week injury to TJ Ford -- enabled the Funk to stumble into a victory. Who were the TO culprits that led to a loss? LA Clippers Elton Brand and Chris Kaman led the Pogiboys with 17 and 14 TO respectively. It hurts when your big men are fumbling the ball away -- the next closet TO guy? Alonzo Mourning with eight. Buy some stick'em guys.

Funk dropped in 53 3PT this week behind a career high for Matt Barnes (19.5 PTS, 6.25 REB, 2 STL, 1 BLK and 13 3PT). For the Pogiboys, the backcourt is in trouble, as Chauncey and Gerald Wallace are both hurt, and replacements Derek Fisher and Damon Jones aren't pulling their weight. Hey, least Stephon Marbury is back to his glory days -- scoring over 20 points and dropping 6 AST last week (not to mention 2.67 3PT a game).

The Itchy & Scratchy Show

Under the statistical analysis, it looks like Oliver's Poobic Heirs should be a top team. First off, they have the best inside-outside combination in the game with Kobe Bryant and Yao Ming. The rest of the roster shines with breakout stars and hidden gems: Caron Butler, Kevin Martin, and Monta Ellis. However, the Heirs are coming off of two losses and are mediocre at 4-5 -- not what our pre-season rankings expected. Even with Ming's injury ten days ago, that still doesn't account for the other losses. Even worse, after some research, those four wins have come against Jose, Alvin, Ping, and Trieu's teams; the four worst teams in the league. Things that make you go ummm...

PTS, REB, AST: This team should be offensively explosive. Shooting guards Bryant, Martin, and Ellis provide buckets from everywhere and Yao and Caron Butler are both over 20 points per game. The team is ranked 3rd in PTS but that could be higher since Kobe and Yao have both missed some games -- plus, Kobe can single handedly win PTS any week he decides he wants to. This team also has a strong presence on the boards with big men like Ming, Andrew Bogut, Rasheed Wallace, and when he plays, Samuel Dalembert. That combination is good enough for 4th; Ming's missing board work will be replaced by rebound specialist Jeff Foster, so this category shouldn't suffer much of a let down. Caron Butler, while not a big man, contributes about 8 REB per night -- awesome.

The Heirs are about middle of the pack in AST -- ranked 7th. It's passing by committee as the only true point guard on this team, Kirk Hinrich, only averages 5.8 on the year, and he's been slumping recently. However, Kobe, Caron, Ricky Davis, Devin Harris, and to a lesser extent, Monta Ellis and Andrew Bogut can all contribute a handful of assists a night.

STL, BLK, 3PT: The Heirs are ranked 3-4-5 in STL-BLK-3PT. Not bad at all right? Few teams are this balanced in all three. With a collection of useful bigs and smalls, the Heirs are very competitive against most teams. Caron Butler does a lot of things -- and we mean A LOT -- but his most valuable contribution might be in STL, where he's back up to around 2 per game. Everyone else on this team does a good job picking off passes and 80% of the roster is over one steal per game.

Yao, Rasheed and Dalembert are all around 2 BLK per game, and they anchor the frontcourt. Bogut isn't much of a shot blocker, but Shane Battier can pick up some of his slack. That's plenty of blocks against most teams -- the only thing preventing the Heirs from dominating here is that Dalembert isn't usually worthy of a starting spot, but he may be pressed into action now.

For three pointers, it's the Triple-K's (Kobe, Kevin, Kirk) and Shane Battier; all four of these guys can put up about 1.5 to 1.75 3PT per game. Nothing crazy, but add in the contributions of Rasheed (his 3PT are down from last year) and Monta Ellis, shooting behind the arc isn't much of a problem.

FG%, FT%, TO: The good news gets even better here. Sure the Heirs are ranked dead last in TO, but who cares? They're good everywhere else. And take a look at this: they are ranked second and first in FG% and FT%, respectively. For those who need to know, 81.5% from the line will take FT% every week, and 47.9% from the field is pretty much gonna win that category too. Keep in mind, this team can score, they're not like the other high FG% teams that are more likely to run out the shot clock than run-and-gun.

All the big men are fair to excellent free throw shooters (Ming is at 86.7%) and the small guys all have pretty decent FG% -- with both Kevin Martin and Caron Butler flirting with hitting about half their shots. Three 20-point guys shooting near fifty percent (add in Yao's 52.2%)? These guys never miss! And it's not the Mamba isn't striking accurately either, since he's at a healthy 47.5 FG%. I wish I could shoot like the Heirs...in real life. No wonder I'm always picked last at the gym.

Bench: The bench usually consists of Sam Dalembert, Devin Harris, Antonio McDyess, and currently, Jeff Foster and Devin Brown. Sam and Devin Harris can both help this team -- in BLK, AST, STL -- but there's no room for them in the lineup! I mean, who would you take out? Battier? Sam is slightly iffy too, as his ceiling has always been higher than his actual production. Since this team does suffer from the occassional injury, having this sort of depth isn't a bad thing. Jeff Foster is the white Reggie Evans and he should help dull the pain from losing Yao. Nobody knows how Devin Brown suddenly re-emerged but here he is -- Devin's going bananas in PTS, REB, and 3PT -- how long he'll stick around is up for debate. McDyess needs to go, his bench spot could be used more wisely -- for a ball boy, a cheerleader, a mascot, whatever. Actually, he's not too bad now that I look at it, but he does nothing that Foster or Dalembert can't.

Cure: There's nothing particularly wrong with this team. They might be the best all around team out there (ranking poorly only in TO). However, a combination of bad luck, bad injuries, and um, more bad luck has dropped The Poobic Heirs below 0.500 in the standings. This record wouldn't normally be alarming given the circumstances, but here's the truth: every time this team has faced an average to good team, they've lost. They've had one amazingly stellar week (in WK 7) but for the most part, they're losing close battles in sporadic categories. Whenever they face an opponent that specializes in a category or two, they seem to come out on the losing end.

Kobe-Yao-Caron are an incredible trio. Yao is the best center in the game and his numbers (and not to mention his percentages) are incomparable. In fact, I'd value him over Kobe and Caron at this point; even if Kobe and Caron are much sexier in the stat sheet.

It's pretty hard to recommend any changes for this team. In general, maybe tinker with the side bits -- such as Battier, Bogut, maybe Ricky Davis -- and maybe deal some of this depth to get a player that will push one or two categories from "very good" to "dominant." With the two percentages already locked up each week, taking three other categories consistently shouldn't be too hard. Build up another strength and maybe, just maybe, let one of the categories down a bit. It's hard to concentrate on eight categories at once, which may be the main reason the Heirs struggle against the good teams in the league -- theyr'e too well-rounded.

On the other hand, they could become a world beater since they are so good at everything. It's tempting to say that this team will get healthier and better, but to an extent, players like Monta Ellis and Kevin Martin may have already peaked. It's hard to imagine Yao and Caron getting much better, and it seems like Ricky Davis, Rasheed, and Battier are as good as they're going to get. There is room for improvement from Kirk Hinrich however, who started off the season on fire but has struggled recently and is currently dinged up. That leaves Kobe, who hasn't quite hit his stride yet -- even at 28 PTS 5 REB/AST -- he'll get better.

The Poobic Heirs should be much better than their record right now, but for some reason they're not. Write if off as a blip on the radar, but after ten weeks, is something wrong? You, dear reader, can decide for yourself.

Crazy: You could conceivably move Kobe (or Caron) but you'd have to get some surefire category helpers in return. Kobe for Garnett? Kobe for Joe Johnson and Baron Davis? It could all happen. But it behooves Oliver to look around for some side bits first, I mean, Kobe is Kobe, Yao is Yao, and Caron for Kwame was the biggest theft (almost) ever. Another strong all-around point guard could help, as could another big man who can really push REB/BLK over the top. The most movable pieces here? Maybe Monta (who is most valuable as a PTS guy but isn't a huge STL or 3PT guy) and Battier and Bogut. Trading some of these pieces on a 2-for-1 would allow Dalembert or Devin Harris to enter the lineup.