Recap: Week 9

Inter-Conference Games
6-3, Human Amoebas vs Buffy
4-4, Pooh Bears vs Chunky Monkeys
5-4, Funk Coalition vs Squirtle Squad
5-4, Fat Jubas vs The Poobic Heirs

Conference Games
5-4, Rhythm Drive vs MoRRie's Pogiboys
6-3, Phanatics vs Sour Snails
(statistics)

6-3, Human Amoebas vs Buffy
This could have been the Game of the Week but injuries are starting to pile up for Buffy. A dominant team when healthy, Buffy has Rashard Lewis injured, Chris Paul injured, Joe Johnson was injured, and um, the never used Shaq is still injured. Oh right, JR Smith has been out too, but he's feeling perfectly healthy. All of these injuries have played havoc with Buffy's lineup and despite the possible emergence of Tony Allen (himself a beneficiary of Paul Pierce's injury) -- 18.5 PTS, 6.5 REB, 3 AST, 1.75 STL, 1.25 BLK -- the team is headed toward a rough start to the new year.

It's time to give some shine to Rip Hamilton, who dropped in 51 points in a game on Dec 27, pushing him to 31.25 PTS for the week. Rip's got ridiculous percentages and he's able to contribute a little bit in the rebounding, passing, and steals departments -- and a tiny bit behind the arc (0.6 per). Many write off Rip as a one (or two) trick pony but I've always liked him quite a bit. He's consistent, never injured, and a proven winner, as playing on the Amoebas has shown.

4-4, Pooh Bears vs Chunky Monkeys
Two ties in nine weeks for the Monkeys. Twenty percent of the time this team suits up and takes to the floor, they leave with no decision. But hey, they're sitting pretty at 5-2-2 and sport the third best record in the league (as well as the highest Points For, if that means anything). The two teams were knotted up in the 3PT department, 26 each, even if it took the Bears six more games to accomplish their tie.

How do the Bucks have so many damn fantasy contributors? Ruben Patterson averaged 17.5 PTS, 7 REB and 4 AST. Mo Williams himself had 19.5 PTS, almost 6 REB/AST, plus 2+ STL and 1.5 3PT after winning Eastern Conference Player of the Week. Redd, Mo, Bell, Villanueva, and Bogut are all good to great lineup options -- the Bucks are the fantasy Suns of the East!

5-4, Funk Coalition vs Squirtle Squad
The two most active teams on the waiver wire went head-to-head last week and fought a hard battle in AST, STL and TO. Ultimately, the Funk was able to squeak out a win, mostly due to the Squirtles uncharacteristic poor shooting from the field and from the line -- 39.9% from the field is way below average for our best shooting team (normally 49.1 FG%).

Last week, we said that the return of Ray Allen and Brandon Roy would power this team to victories but instead, their 35.3% and 41.3% field goal shooting (along with K Garnett's 37.9%) doomed the Squirtles to just their second loss of the season. Funk continues to win despite Carmelo's absence and it's mostly due to Earl Boykins picking up the scoring slack at 24.5 PTS and 2 3PT a game. With this win, Funk takes over the mantle as the hottest team in the league with three straight wins -- but they are still far off the six straight win streak the Squirtles had been riding.

5-4, Fat Jubas vs The Poobic Heirs
One team's loss is another team's gain. The Jubas become the top team in the league with a Squirtles loss and their win over a Yao-less (but in the lineup) Heirs team. The Jubas scored one more point than the Heirs -- 612 to 611. You don't think Yao's replacement wouldn't have scored more than one point? Don't be crazy. Kobe gave it his all (34 PTS avg) but he couldn't quite push the Heirs to a win without the services of Yao and Monta Ellis.

Of course, the Jubas made a lineup gaffe of their own as Tracy McGrady rode the pine despite four healthy games. So let's call this a matchup of two owners still sleeping after their Christmas feasts. One guy who has been awake and alert is Josh Howard, who averaged 21.5 PTS, 10.75 REB, 3.25 AST and 1 STL/BLK/3PT last week. Wake up to deez!

5-4, Rhythm Drive vs MoRRie's Pogiboys
D-d-d-danger, watch behind you -- there's a stranger out to find you! The Pogiboys have come so close to near upsets of division rivals in the past two weeks (last week it was the East leading Squirtles). They are destined for a victory soon and if not for missing two rebounds at the end of the week, they would have toppled the behemoth Rhythm Drive. It looks like Gerald Wallace is back (22.5 PTS, 7.25 REB, 2 STL/BLK for the week) so that's a huge sigh of relief for Alvin -- wait, what? He's hurt again?! Insert Mumra roar-screech!

So, who got those two winning rebounds for Reno? It sure as hell wasn't Chris Bosh, who was in the lineup but nowhere close to actually playing. Apparently even his ghostly presence on the court is enough to scare opposing big men away from the boards. Brad Miller averaged a paltry 4 REB this week, is he the white Eddy Curry? Just kidding, we love Brad -- he just blocks like a sissy. Luol Deng's not playing like a girl, as he's on the verge of taking his game to the next level -- 20.25 PTS, 8 REB, and 56.9 FG% last week.

6-3, Phanatics vs Sour Snails
In a battle of futility, someone's got to win right? The Phanatics handled their fellow cellar dweller Sour Snails by edging them in PTS (506-504) and STL (44-41). The Snails are being ravaged by inconsistent play and lineup appearances, with Ron Artest, Jason Richardson, Larry Hughes and Wally Szerbiak all coming on and off the bench. Nash and Iverson are trying to pick up the pace but they can only do so much.

The Phanatics aren't exactly the picture of perfection either, with four of their top guys sitting the pine due to injuries (Pierce, Odom, Camby, D West). But hey, a win's a win and they'll take one wherever they can find it. This week, Desmond Mason and Richard Jefferson (both over 50.0 FG% and 18 PTS per) supported Vince "Air New Jersey" Carter to pick up a much needed confidence booster for the Phanatics.